Unapologetically You

Do You want  to be more confidence in yourself  and to live your life without apology? 

How do you build a posture of confidence and self esteem?

I wish this came easily and naturally but so often we are way too worried about what others think, that we become who we think others want us to be. 

We put a mask of pretense on, cover up our true self and go into hiding. What would it be like to give yourself permission to rip the mask off and just be you?

If you take off your mask, who are you?

Picture yourself daring to let yourself just be. Every unique part of you. 

We create pictures in our mind about who we think  we should be,  but what about picturing yourself as just you. 

I had a nickname as a young child ‘ Bubbles’ … the nickname came about because as a very young girl, if someone even just looked at me, I would giggle, and once I the giggles started, I could not help myself, those giggles just kept bubbling up out of me. Now laughter sounds like a good thing and shouldn’t be something we are ashamed of, but I got teased for the laughter, a lot, so I became even more self consciously and did my best to  hide that part of me, I became ashamed and the giggles turned to a negative narrative that became a part of me that I didn't like. 

I use this story as an example of how our thoughts and  words create a bigger picture in our mind of what we should or shouldn't be, which create more self damaging words….and until we fire the critter from his job of self destructive storytelling  and look for the truth of who we are, we continue a negative narrative and image of ourselves.

So how can the narrative be changed to something positive. By challenging it... 

Would you say the words you say to yourself to your friend? Or 

Would you keep a friend around that talked to you like you talk to yourself? 

What about this, picture yourself at age 2, age 5 or age 10. You meet that little girl or boy would you talk to that little one like you do to your today self? Imagine your younger self, so sweet and innocent or maybe a bit of a prankster with a goofy grin. You see him or her building a sand castle or playing while out walking on the beach, what would you say to that young you? Would you say the things to that young child that you say to yourself today? I dare so the answer for most people is a resounding no. 

Why then is it ok to say those things to yourself today?

We try so hard to act a certain way to gain approval from others because we are worried what they will think of us, but is acting for their approval making you feel better  about yourself? Maybe for a brief moment if you get acceptance, but are you really feeling satisfied in the relationship if you are bringing a pretend you. Imagine what it would be like to just be you, and not worry about what others think. 

Who you are and what you bring to this world is beautiful and finding that truth for yourself is an inside job, no one else can give you the approval like what you can give yourself.

Get real with you… 

Get curious!

Who are you? 

What strengths and values, unique ways and idiosyncrasies do you have that make up the amazing human you are?

Find your truth and manage your thoughts. Are your words truthful?  Ask , am I showing up as my authentic self?

 Acknowledge and appreciate your uniqueness, there is only one set of footprints on this earth like yours. No one else offers to the world what you do. Recognize your successes, accomplishments. What are these? Write them down.

What would it be like to accept your uniqueness and strengths? What would it be like to dare to just show up as your unique and amazing self?

Here's an exercise for you - find three things every day that you are thankful for. A heart of gratitude changes the mind and the thoughts that we think. 

And 

This one may be more difficult:

Write down every day for a month, 3 things you love about yourself. Start out simple if this is difficult to do. I began with my toes as crazy as that sounds…’If I didn't have toes, I wouldn't be able to walk as easily, so I love my toes’. My fingers, the same thing. And so on until you build an  appreciation  and value to begin loving your strengths and qualities. 

Watch your confidence build and your thoughts change as you do this journal exercise. 

Dare to do what makes you feel good, it doesn't matter what others think, it matters what you  think about you and the message you are sending to your brain and what it hears each day. 

Write on your mirror with lipstick or mascara or sticky notes, who you are, write it where you can see it multiple times a day. I am beautiful and I am lovable.

Let yourself just be you. Unapologetically You!